


I'd Like To Get Lost In You, With You, And Everything InBetween

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Louis screwing guys while with Eleanor, M/M, Multi, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry meets Niall at a college party. Niall's really pretty if Harry does say so himself. Niall doesn't know if he likes boys yet. Maybe Harry will help him figure that out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. pretty boys in bristol

**Author's Note:**

> This work is made by an American girl so I have nooo idea how schooling in England works but lets pretend it's the same as America. Actually I'm quite uneducated in university life overall so yeah. if you like follow my Tumblr and you can ask for some prompts: http://dashofuniondashofdirection.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> BTW, I'm a sucker for unsure and insecure Harry and popular Niall

Harry didn't like the college in Bristol. It was full of snobby rich kids who thought they were so great but Harry also liked law school so he sucked it up and tried to make the best of it really. The first day Harry gets to Bristol, he's wide eyed and confused and he probably gets looks from Seniors that look like "hey fresh meat." He hopes they really don't think that because he was already to tall, his curls to big, his eyes to green and everything else about him was just too much he didn't need problems with seniors adding to the list of it. 

Harry walks into his dorm room with his bag in hand and he's met by two other guys lounging on the ground. There's one with dark hair and olive skin, he's wearing glasses that Harry are 100% sure are fake but he doesn't know. The other boy is slightly smaller, with sharp cheekbones and mischevious eyes. Both of them look at Harry and raise their eyebrow, 

"Need something?" The brown haired one asks and Harry swallows, 

"I uh think I'm sharing with you guys." He states and the boys immediately break out in a grin, 

"Good, good! You must be Styles." The same brown haired one says sitting up, "I'm Louis and that's Zayn." Zayn grunts a hello from his position on the floor. Louis jumps up and walks over to Harry, "what's up man?" 

"It's Harry." Harry blurts out and Louis gives him a weird look, 

"What's Harry?" 

"My uh name." Louis laughs, 

"Of course it is, Styles. Make yourself comfortable. Zayn and I already claimed the bunk beds so you can have your own little bed." Louis says and Harry nods going over to the bed, propping his bag into it and starts taking things out. Harry feels uncomfortable because he doesn't know these boys and he needs something to keep him occupied. 

"Where are you from man?" Zayn says from the floor. 

"Cheshire." Harry mutters and Louis lets out a laugh, 

"So posh! Cheshire!" And Harry blushes because that's the last thing he needs. He really isn't posh at all, he's actually quite un-posh if he said so himself. 

"Louis' a douche don't listen to him. What's up man, Eleanor not putting out enough?" Louis laughed loudly again, totally unbothered by Zayn's sentence. 

"Nahh man she's putting out to much really. I mean I'm a guy how much sperm do I have?" Louis asks and Harry shifts uncomfortably. Not that he cares or anything but he's never been around people who can talk about sexual things so comfortably. 

"Do you have a girlfriend, Harry?" Zayn asks Harry. Harry swallows because of course he doesn't, he doesn't like girls, a secret he's been keeping for his whole life and he's quite comfortable with being in the closet, even though he sometimes gets feelings. It's not like Harry's totally inexperienced or anything because he has kissed some guys and done some other things but really he's quite a virgin in most things. 

"I don't." Harry says, managing to answer Zayn's question. The boys start talking again and then Louis' phone chimes and he looks at Zayn, 

"The first party of the year man! Guess who's gonna be there?" Louis asks Zayn, 

"Ughh can you not, Louis?" Zayn asks sounding irritated, but Louis clearly isn't having it, 

"Liam's gonna be there!" Harry finally turns around from staring at his clothes and looks at Zayn. He was still sprawled out on the floor and he had his eyes closed, 

"Ughh can Josh uninvite him?" Zayn asks and Harry finally finds his voice, 

"W-who's Liam?" He asks and Zayn groans while Louis turns to him, 

"Liam my dear Styles is our friend who Zayn loves!" Louis squeals like a girl and Zayn shakes his head, 

"I don't love him." 

"Ughh yes you do! You don't write bad poetry for just anybody." 

"Hey!" Harry finds himself giggling at the two boys. Harry's kind of shocked that Zayn's gay or bi or whatever he associates himself as. Harry isn't one to follow sterotypes or anything like that but Harry didn't peg Zayn as a boy who likes other boys, whatever. He turns back around and wonders if he'll ever fit into parties, he was never a partier. 

"You're coming right Harry?" Zayn asks him and Harry's heart stutters for a second because is someone, really asking him to go to a party? Harry was always that awkward kid who hung back at parties and then random girls always tried to grind on him, which was by the time he decided he needed to get home. 

"I'm not really a party animal." Harry states and Louis chuckles, 

"Who cares dude! We'll give you some drinks loosen you up and then you'll be fine!" Louis yells and Harry shrugs, 

"I really dunno guys." He says rubbing the back of his neck and he kind of wants to die, because they probably think he's so uncool. He is really uncool but he doesn't want these boys who look older than him think he's some kind of loser or whatnot. 

"C'mon Styles! Hook up with a random girl or guy or whatever you like and then you'll be part of the college life forever bro!" Louis yells and Harry kind of stares at them, then blinks because do they know? He shrugs, he was never a good debator or anything. He still doesn't know how he'll make a good lawyer, he just likes the law and everything and he is pretty good at it too. 

"Okay." Harry says and both boys grin. 

~~ 

Harry isn't claustrophobic but he's pretty sure he can't breathe. He hasn't seen this much bodies in one place since he went to a cemetary. Louis and Zayn seem to be feeding off of this though as they maneuver there way around partly drunk people. Harry tries to look cool like them but he probably looks like he's going to pass out. Harry studies everyone and he feels out of place, with his pants that hang a bit to low, his Augustana band t-shirt that's a bit to big and his shoes that are a bit to old. Harry's a bit to everything really. 

"I see Josh." Zayn says loudly over the music pointing to someone but Harry has no idea who he's suppose to be looking for. Harry sees Louis grab Zayn's hand, then Zayn grabs his and they are forming a chain as they try not to be rude (him and Zayn) and not push people out the way. 

The finally get to a kitchen with many people but not as much as the whole place. There are three boys standing there. A brown haired one that's kind of short but has a slightly intoxicated smile, a nice looking one with a buzz cut who Harry notices keeps on eyeing Zayn and Harry is pretty sure that's Liam and a blonde one that's laughing loudly at something the people behind them are saying. Harry thinks the boy's laugh sounds quite pretty. 

"You finally made it! I saw your girlfriend, Louis!" Josh shouts enveloping Zayn and Louis in a one arm hug each. 

"Ughh, hide me maybe?" Louis asks and Liam chuckles, 

"You don't like her breakup with her." He goes to hug Louis who accepts it and then Liam stares at Zayn for a long time and Louis groans, 

"Oh for fucks sake!" And he pushes Zayn roughly into Liam's arms. Zayn pulls away immediately and Harry cringes for Liam because damn that's embarrassing. 

"Anyways..." Josh says drawing the word out, "you guys no Niall, the dude I just formed the band with if you've been stalking my Facebook page this summer, which I'm sure you do. Niall, that is Zayn and Louis idiots but good friends of mine." Josh introduces the blonde and Harry watches him and Harry feels his heart rate pick up because Niall is pretty! Harry never did well with pretty boys or pretty boys never did well with him, whichever. Niall smiles again and Harry kind of stares at him because he positvely glows under the dimly lit kitchen and Harry swallows, 

"Hey dudes." He says and Harry notices a trace of an Irish accent and Harry wonders if it's possible to bathe an accent because he would in Niall's. 

"Well guys this is Harry our new roommate, Harry that's Josh our friend who's to cocky for his own good, uh Liam, and well Niall." Zayn says and they all look at Harry. Harry smiles a bit, 

"Hi." 

"He's a bit shy if you haven't noticed, so loosen him up." Louis states a bit to loud,

Harry wonders if it's a good idea to take that Heinken from Josh' hands but either way it's not like he can undrink something so he closes his eyes and lets the bitter taste of beer burn his throat. The whole time he wonders does Niall thinks he's as pretty as Harry thinks Niall is.


	2. ways to ot get some ass: harry styles' edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's kind of an idiot.

Harry is pretty sure he isn't drunk, just a tad bit tipsy because he still hasn't worked up the courage to talk to Niall. Niall is surrouned by Josh and a whole bunch of other boys, standing around, drinking and just laughing. Harry can't be apart of that because Harry is socially awkward and doesn't know how to just fit himself into a conversation like that. Niall radiates beauty and everything nice and Harry likes Niall's face a whole lot. Harry also doesn't like these emotions because the last time Harry had feelings for another boy was when he was 16 and he ended up getting his heart broken. He didn't need Niall doing the same, not like he had a chance with Niall anyway. 

Harry takes a big gulp of his beer and suddenly Louis' arm wraps around his shoulder, 

"Hey Harry!" He screams into Harry's ear. Harry flinches because the music was already loud he didn't need Louis' screaming to give him a bigger headache then he already had. 

"Hey Louis." Harry mutters, turning around to look at Louis. Louis' eyes were bloodshot and unfocused, Harry was about 100% sure Louis was high. He also knew he didn't want to deal with that right now. 

"Are you high?" Harry asks him,

"You see that guy over there?" Louis asks completely ignoring Harry. Harry rolled his eyes and followed Louis' line of vision. There was a black haired guy, leaned up against the wall and observing the party. Harry was guessing that was who Louis was talking about, 

"Yeah what about him?" Harry asked, 

"Hot, isn't he?" Harry cocked his head in confusion. Last time he checked, Louis was straight and had a girlfriend. 

"Y-you're gay?" Harry asked and Louis laughed loudly into his ear. Harry jumped, "fuck Louis can you not do that?" He asked angrily and he felt himself flinch at the harshness in his voice. All Louis did was laugh, 

"Nahh man I just think he's hot. Would be a good fuck right?" Louis asked him and Harry suddenly didn't want to deal with this. Because Louis was so comfortable in calling a guy hot and wanting to do him (which Harry thought meant he was gay) but Harry was scared of that, scared of just admitting he had feelings for guys. 

"Why don't you go ask him." Harry muttered. He had no idea how Louis even heard him, 

"I will!" Louis suddenly cried. Suddenly, Louis' hand disappeared from Harry's shoulders and Harry watched as Louis swaggered over to the dude. Harry rolled his eyes, turning away because he didn't want to see what could possibly be Louis doing better than him in any relationship he ever had. Harry turned his head and was startled to find Niall standing there, in his space. Harry took an immediate step back and Niall didn't look drunk even though he had downed a whole bunch of beers. 

"You okay man, you seem a little uncomfortable." Niall asked him and Harry swallowed because Niall sounded so sincere like he actually wanted to know. 

"Mmhmm." Harry hummed and Niall nodded, 

"Good, good. Want me to get you another drink. Louis did say something about wanting to loosen you up." Niall said grinning and Harry shook his head because that was the last thing he needed, 

"Honestly, no. I'm fine." Harry stated and Niall smiled, 

"I can never get enough of my beer. Britian's surrounded by lightweights. Ireland is where it's really at. " Niall laughed and Harry found himself asking the most idiotic question ever, 

"You're Irish?" Harry asked and he resisted the urge to facepalm. 

"Accent mate, unless I've been living for Britian for too long." Niall laughed and Harry shook his head, 

"No, no. That was just me being stupid." Harry stated reprimanding himself in his head. Niall shrugged, 

"It's all good dude. What year are you?" Niall asked Harry and Harry was honestly having a conversation with Niall and his legs were jelly so he was pretty sure if he moved, he would faint. 

"Year 1 uh freshman." Harry stated and wow he was honestly stupid because he was pretty sure Niall knew what a year 1 in college meant. 

"Ahh I'm year 2. Freshman was probably my best year. The best parties espicially if you have older friends to hook you up with good parties. Like I have Louis and Zayn. Zayn's in year 3 while Louis' in his last year, lucky bastard." Niall stated and Harry nodded. He wasn't really taking whole interest in what Niall was saying he just really liked the way Niall's lips moved while he talked. 

"T-that's cool." Harry stuttered looking around for his friends. He spotted Zayn and Liam for a split second both of them lip-locked and he wondered what was going on there. He turned his head the other way where Louis had gone to get with the guy but they both were gone, Harry kind of wanted to know what had happened now. 

"It is. Wanna dance or something?" Niall asked him and Harry turned his head to where Niall was staring at him all blue eyes and Harry felt a pressure on his lower arm and he looked down and Niall was touching him. Harry should have opened his mouth and yelled, 

"Of course, lets dance!" But in reality Harry pulled away and dropped his beer, 

"I uh gotta go." He muttered and he was positive Niall didn't hear him. Harry was suddenly dodging out of the house, he wasn't sure how he would get to his dorm which was on the other side of the university because he came with Zayn but he was sure he could walk. Harry should've taken the chance but he was scared of Niall and what doing anything with him would consist of. Harry was a bloody idiot, an over-reacter and he hated himself sometimes.


	3. falling for you... literally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry really hated Niall, not really though.

"So... Niall told me you kind of freaked out on him." That was the first thing Zayn said when he walked into the dorm, a very limp Louis in his arms. Louis looked asleep and Harry wondered what had happened. Harry was facing the ceiling on the bed contemplating different ways he could try to avoid Niall because he was Louis and Zayn's friend apparently, so maybe he would be seeing him alot. Harry wasn't great with confrontations or anything of the sort. Harry watched as Zayn threw Louis on the bottom bunk and walked over to him.

"Scoot over." Zayn demanded and Harry did not really feel in the mood to fight or say no. Zayn laid down next to him and both of them were silent for a minute.

"So, what's up with you and Liam?" Harry asked because he really didn't want to tell Zayn he was a bloody idiot. Honestly, he was more scared because what if Niall wasn't really flirting with him and he just actually wanted to dance. Now Niall thought he was some pyscho wack job and Harry really hated college and people. Zayn sighed next to him sadly and Harry turned his head. Zayn's eyes were focused on the ceiling but they were shining like he was close to tears,

"I don't really know it's like... one day he wants to kiss me and be with me but then the next he isn't sure if he wants me really. I just- I just want him to want me." Zayn said in a choked up voice and Harry stared at him. Harry was horrible at comforting people so he just kind of stared as Zayn composed himself and he did feel bad, really he did but he just didn't know how to voice that to Zayn.

"Sorry." Harry managed to say and Zayn shook his head,

"Not your fault, man. So, wanna tell me what happened with you and Niall?" Zayn asked and Harry shook his head,

"What did he tell you?" Harry asked Zayn. Zayn's head turned to face Harry and he looked like he was racking his brain for what Niall had said,

"Oh yeah he said that he was talking to you and then you kind of freaked and left." Zayn stated and Harry raised an eyebrow,

"He didn't say he had asked to dance with me?" Harry asked and Zayn shook his head,

"No... did he? Is that why you freaked because you couldn't dance? C'mon Harry, I mean I didn't know how to dance but Liam..." And then Zayn drifted off, probably trying to forget about Liam. Harry wished that college wasn't so complicated even though he hadn't even been a week in this place. He was suddenly surrounded by all these different people who didn't care who he was, they had their own fair share of problems.

In Cheshire everything was different. Harry had one friend named Lucy and the only reason they were really friends was because she was kind of overweight and the kids didn't like her, while Harry didn't like hanging out with people because he didn't know how. Now here he was, still an outcast in his own right and he was suddenly met by Zayn and Louis who really didn't give a shit.

"It's not that, it's just... I dunno." Harry managed to say. Zayn stared at him still,

"You like him, huh?" Zayn asked but it didn't really sound like a question. Harry hated himself for being so transparent. He really did. Harry turned his head back to the ceiling so he couldn't see Zayn's eyes.

"I don't know." Harry whispered and Zayn sighed,

"Niall's straight Harry." He said and Harry slowly turned to face Zayn. Harry kind of knew Niall was straight, that Niall was probably just lonely but the sadness in Zayn's voice when he said it made Harry want to crumble. It's not like he had a chance anyway, Zayn didn't have to tiptoe around him.

"I'm going to sleep." Harry muttered turning on his side, so his back was to Zayn and he was facing the small closet. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep but his mind was a constant murmur of _NiallNiallNiall_. 

~~ 

Harry's first day of classes was really not all that interesting. The professors were alot stricter and they really expected you to do everything, not that Harry had expected anything else but he was kind of shocked. When Harry was getting out of his last class for the day he ran into none other than Niall and Harry wondered what he was doing on the Freshman building. A look of recognition crossed Niall's face, 

"Hey Harry what's up?" Niall asked and Harry swallowed because Niall had seemed to have gotten prettier from the last time Harry saw him. While Harry had a beanie on, a Beatles' band t-shirt and skinny jeans that hung to low Niall wore a red snapback, a red polo that fit him in all the right places, some nice jeans that weren't to baggy but hung low on his hips and some supras. Harry swallowed because he hated all of mankind at that exact moment. 

"Not much. What are you doing here?" Harry blurted out and Niall gave him a crooked grin, 

"I help out Mr. Fellicci sometimes in his classes." Niall replied and Harry nodded. He stared at Niall and Niall was smiling at him, 

"I'm going to go now." Harry muttered starting to duck out but Niall grabbed his arm causing Harry to jump but go back anyway, 

"Josh, Ed and I have a gig tonight at this little cafe. You should come and invite Louis and Zayn, it'd be fun." Harry stared at him and swallowed wondering if Niall was asking him out on a date. But Harry was ridiculous and the thought of that was even more ridiculous. So he just nodded and said, 

"Yeah sure." Niall grinned, 

"Don't bail this time." Harry blushed all the way to his dorm room.

~~

"So uh what happened with you and that guy?" Harry asked Louis when all three of them were getting ready for Niall's gig. Harry had nerves because Niall acted as if last night was nothing, not that it was really anything but still. He had apparently told Zayn about it maybe he thought Harry was a lost cause and not worth being his friend. Louis turned his head and shrugged,

"Not much just some kissing. Then everything blanked." Louis stated and Zayn walked out of the bathroom,

"What guy?" Louis shrugged,

"Some dude I made out with." Zayn raised his eyebrow and Harry was so sure that Zayn was going to ask Louis if he was gay, like Harry had done but all Zayn said,

"You're cheating on El?" Louis shrugged,

"I don't really know man. Eleanor's Eleanor, that's the simplest way I could put it." Louis stated and Zayn rubbed the back of his neck,

"You really need to get your shit together, Louis." Louis scoffed even though he didn't seem offended,

"Yet you get your panties in a bunch everytime you're around Liam. I thought he was the fire to your soul, Zayn?" Louis asked chortling. Harry felt the end of his lips quirk into a small smile.

"Oh shut up." Zayn muttered.

~~

The cafe was pretty big actually and when the guys walked to the front it seemed like the whole female population was waiting for the guys to come out. Harry had a slight pang of jealousy because these girls all probably had a chance with Niall while Harry was stuck here, wanting and not recieving. Liam had joined them at some point and Zayn was clinging to Harry like Harry was a life preserver and Zayn was drowning. Liam was on Louis' side trying to act nonchalant, even though it didn't really work.

"This is a bunch of bullshit." Zayn whispered in Harry's ear and Harry felt bad for Zayn, because Zayn seemed like he knew Liam for quite a bit and he still was having problems with even being with him. Suddenly, all three boys walked out and while Harry tried to focus on all of them, he could really only see Niall who was grinning at everybody and feeding off the energy of all the girls.

The red-head Ed, Harry was guessing went up to the microphone,

"Hey college kids what's up?" He didn't receive actual words in response more like screams but he was okay with that. Ed laughed and Harry watched as Niall found the guitar and when he put the guitar strap around his neck it was like he was born playing the guitar. 

"This is drunk." Ed said and Niall started playing the guiatr slowly and Ed just began singing and Harry was lost in voices that fit together, and long fingers stretching over guitar strings. 

 _"I wanna be drunk when I wake up_  
On the right side of the wrong bed  
And never an excuse I made up  
Tell you the truth I hate  
What didn't kill me  
It never made me stronger at all." 

Harry found himself drinking up the lyrics, finding meaning in it. He turned his head and green eyes met electrifying blue ones that weren't really looking at him, more like looking beyond him. 

"Ed's good isn't he?" Zayn asked Harry making Harry nod but he wasn't really thinking about Ed even though he was good, he was looking at Niall move effortlessly like this was just what he was born to do and maybe it was.

~~

When the gig was done the guys got off stage meeting with the Harry, Zayn, Louis and Liam.

"How'd you like it?" Ed asked them and everyone nodded approvingly,

"Very good man. How you aren't famous is past me." Louis stated and before Ed or anyone else could get a comment in,

"Louis!" Was heard from across the room. Everyone's eyes followed the voice and Harry saw a brown haired girl grinning and waving at Louis,

"I'm guessing that's Eleanor?" Harry asked and everyone nodded wordlessly. Harry watched as Louis rolled his eyes, then turned so he was facing Eleanor,

"Baby hi!" He called and Eleanor bounded over to them, throwing her arms around Louis. Harry watched her and immediately felt bad because Louis was just not for her and she seemed so smitten. Introductions were passed around and then she was grabbing Louis' arm, with promises to give him back but Harry didn't really think that she had him.

"So wanna come over to the flat? We can play Xbox all night?" Josh asked and everyone agreed because this wasn't like a pub where you could get drunk, it was a cafe with coffee and shit and really wasn't their scene. Harry fell back and followed him until Niall turned and looked at him,

"Coming Harry or?" Harry stared at him for a bit and Harry tried to walk faster, to catch up to Niall who had stopped for him and he literally fell right there. Right in front of Niall and Harry felt his face heat up because his life really freaking sucked,

"Whoops! Haha dude you okay?" Niall asked from above him and Niall put his hand out, smiling at Harry looking so freaking cheery while Harry was this close to crying because Harry didn't know the meaning of natural. He didn't have to act natural for anybody, people didn't give him a chance and Lucy didn't really have a right to judge him so this was all new to him.

Harry didn't take Niall's hand as he hoisted himself up,

"I'm fine." Harry muttered and Niall chuckled,

"I'm sure you are." Harry hated him. Not really, but he could pretend. 


	4. here's one to the awkwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall needs to figure some things out, Harry's on edge and there's kissing

The boy's flat was big and it surprised Harry that they could afford something like this. 

"Ready for me to whoop your ass in CoD, Payne?" Josh asked walking straight to the living room to open the Xbox. Liam laughed rolling his eyes, 

"I'm sure you would Josh." Liam stated as if he knew that Josh had nothing on him. Harry watched them walk into the living room and was about to follow them until Niall, he was sure without looking grabbed his arm. Harry turned around and came face to face with a grinning Niall, 

"Hey help me get some food." He stated and Harry swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling like a cotton field had taken shelter in it. Harry sighed and followed Niall into the kitchen. Niall started rummaging through the kitchen and Harry felt like a creep because he kept looking at his butt and wow. Harry rubbed the back of his neck and than Niall turned around and before Harry could process what was happening Niall was pushing him up the wall, 

"Wahh?" Was all Harry could say and even though Niall was a bit shorter than him he seemed bigger and Harry wondered what was going on, 

"I have a proposal for you." Niall whispered against Harry's lips. Harry had to admit this was kind of hot and his boxers started feeling tight and he hated himself, 

"Okay." Harry said back and Niall smirked, 

"I know for a fact that you're gay." Harry swallowed not moving because was Niall homophobic? Did he just bring him here to pummel him to a bloody pulp. "And I've been... confused per say." Niall stated and Harry nodded not really knowing where this was going, "and maybe you could help me figure out some things." Before Harry could figure out what some things meant Niall's lips were on his. It was messy and wet and Harry's lips didn't catch up with his mind so he was kind of slow and it was horrible. 

When Niall pulled away he smiled at Harry, 

"We'll perfect it later yeah?" Harry wanted to say something really but amongst all the lips and teeth and wetness he had the fliuttery feeling in his stomach that Niall was kissing him. He liked Niall so he was sort of okay with it and that's how he found himself nodding. Niall grinned and turned around going back to the refrigerator. Harry was 100% sure he had been used. 

When Niall slipped his number into Harry's pants pocket that night before they left Harry was about 50% sure he was okay with it. 

~~ 

The next day after his classes he was met with a smiling Niall. He was dressed more casually today in some grey sweats, a white v-neck and some white supras. He was wearing another snapback today and Harry wondered how much he had, probably as much beanies Harry had and it was alot. 

"Hey Harry, what's up?" Niall asked him leaning on the doorway looking so casual while Harry was internally freaking out. Niall has just attacked his mouth yesterday and Harry still had that memory etched into his brain like nothing. 

"Hi." Harry said shyly and Niall chuckled, 

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Harry looked up and Niall was grinning so Harry was 100% sure Niall knew about his edginess. Niall stepped closer and Harry's eyes widened and just like yesterday Niall's lips were on his. It was a simple kiss this time and Niall kept it there, Niall's hands found it's way into Harry's curls and Harry basically melted into Niall's touch this time. Niall licked the inside of his lips then pulled away, 

"You okay now?" Niall asked and Harry nodded. Niall grinned and walked into the class. Harry honestly had no idea why Niall needed him for, he seemed to have things figured out.


	5. he's higher than a kite, but he's still the most beautiful creature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ever been given a blowjob under the stars Harry?"

Harry was in the library, not really reading or anything but because he couldn't face Louis, Zayn or whoever decided to be in their dorm. He wanted to think about Niall and how he was barely in this school for a week and his crush was kissing him, Harry wondered if everything in Bristol would be so... easy! Harry groaned earning "shh"'s from overachievers, who probably didn't need to study for shit! Harry didn't know where to start, maybe at the part where Niall wanted to"figure things out" but seemed so sure of everything, or the fact that Zayn and Liam were absolute idiots who tiptoed around everything! Last was Louis who cheated like it was almost the end of the world and he just didn't care!

Harry sighed realizing him, sitting alone in a library wasn't working so he whipped out his phone. He barely had contacts and typed in L and came face to face with Lucy's name. He hadn't spoken to her since Bristol and really he wanted to hear her voice. Harry hated that about himself, he was one of those people who didn't realize what they had until it was gone. 

_Hi, its H_

Harry texted her. Harry knew that Lucy didn't go to university or anything, she was way to insecure to even get into a car and drive to the local Testco's. Harry ran a hand through his hair, wondering to whatever God there was why had he made Harry so hopelessly... odd. Why couldn't he have made Harry arrogant and sure of himself, pretty and most importantly straight! Life would be so much better if... Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by the upcoming text message. 

_Baby hazza! Where have you been, love? How's Bristol?_

Harry smiled at the message ad texted back quickly, 

_Well you clearly know where I've been and Bristol's... Bristol_

Harry didn't know how Lucy would react to the fact that he was making out with a boy he had only known for so long and he didn't find out right that moment because there as a thump coming from the bookshelf. Harry furrowed his eyebrows and stood up slowly, walking over to the bookshelf only to find Louis making out quite... explicetly with a light haired boy. 

Harry stared and before he knew it he was clearing his throat, how does one react in a situation like that? The two boys clearly didn't hear so Harry stealthily and steadily walked out of the library, all thoughts of Lucy forgotten.

~~

"Guess where we're going tonight?" Zayn asked when Harry walked into the dorm, wanting to dip his eyes in bleach. Harry just wasn't one for PDA, he only had been with one person in his life and it was a boy named Nathan from France and they were barely together. They were both 16 and they made out in the broom closet after school for about 2 months until Nathan decided one day he was straight than he moved away a week after that. Harry really didn't have time to fall for people because it wasn't like some blonde French kid scarred him emotionally for the rest of his life, he just didn't like love and all that heartbreak. 

"Where?" Harry asked Zayn after his polonged silence, 

"House party!" He yelled and Harry stared at him, 

"Again?" Zayn grinned, 

"This is the perks of uni young Harold." Harry scunched up his nose, 

"Why are you so happy?" Harry asked Zayn and Zayn shrugged, 

"Nothing." Harry stared at him and swallowed, 

"I saw Louis making out with a guy in the library. They had their hands down each others pants! And who makes out in the library!" Harry asked and Zayn laughed, 

"You must not know Louis, he had sex in a church once... a church!" Zayn laughed and Harry felt his cheeks flame, he didn't know if he was going to be able to get used to these new friends of his. First time for everything. 

~~ 

This wasn't a normal house party. No it was like an indie house party, where the DJ had Bon Iver, Phoenix, Ray LaMontagne and The xx playing. There was people getting high and Harry could hear the American accents blending in with the UK accents and Harry was guessing some American girls had decided that this was their scene. The air smelled of herbal weed and Harry knew how that smelled like considerig Lucy got high all the time. Harry didn't get the whole herbal thing, good weed, bad weed, what's the difference you'd end up doing something you regret anyhow. 

Harry arrived with Louis, Zayn and Liam who were all meeting with Josh, Ed and Niall. 

"We should totally have a group orgy right guys?" Louis was asking because that was his topic of the night, orgies. Harry had the best luck.

"No, Louis we shouldn't." Liam replied sounding like a father. Harry watched as Zayn basically clung to Liam's side and smiled up at him like the sun shone out of his ass.

"C'mon it would be fun! We all have decent sized dicks!" Louis cried causing himself to get some looks from the mellow hippie kids.

"You get hornier everyday, Tomlinson I swear." Zayn replied grinning and looking at Liam for approval and Liam smiled causing Zayn to absolutely beam! Harry wasn't sure if this whole worship thing that Zayn had with Liam was healthy but who was he to say anything? 

"Guys!" Came a very thick Irish accent. Harry's eyes turned to see Niall, Josh and Ed with unfocused eyes and lazy grins plastered to their sweaty faces. Harry sighed, they were all stoned and he was pretty sure the others planned on getting high too. He didn't want to get high, he wanted to go back to Holmes Chapel and crawl into bed where he was surrounded by familiar faces. He might not have talked much but he didn't feel like a stranger there but here he wanted to crawl out of his skin. 

"Try this shit, come on!" Ed yelled to them showing them his joint. He was already walking away though, asking all of them to follow. Harry started walking away but was intercepted by Niall who was standing there and grinning, 

"I have something to show you." He said with a giggle and Harry nodded. Niall grabbed his hand and started leading him outside, where they were greeted by cool air and slightly damp grass. 

"Hey Curly." Niall whispered staring at him and the moon was repelling off his eyes and his eyes twinkled exactly like the stars ad Harry felt like a cliche comparing Niall's eyes to the stars. One day they were to die but they were still so beautiful, so shiny but they were also so different. While there was so much stars so alike, Niall's eyes were one in a million. 

"Hi." Harry breathed and Niall stepped closer and kissed him, all pushy lips yet so soft. It was like the first time you ever had melted marshmallows across the fire, they were melted and you wanted to savor the taste. Wanted to know how they got so good! It wasn't the first time he kissed Niall, it was actually the third but Niall kissed different each time. The first was rushed with way to much teeth, the second was barely a kiss more like a press of the lips but this one was more deliberate and Harry wondered was this the things he told people years from now. 

Harry could imagine sitting with Lucy and saying, 

"In my first year of uni I kissed a gorgeous boy who was higher than a kite under the stars." What was his life? Niall pulled away and grinned at him, 

"Ever been given a blowjob under the stars Harry?"  

"No." Harry replied softly and Niall grinned, 

"Good." 

Harry could see it now. He'd be sitting on his death bed with Lucy next to him and he'd say, 

"Hey Luce?" She would raise an eyebrow, 

"Yeah, baby H?" She would ask and he'd smile, 

"Remember that time, ages ago when I went to uni?" Lucy would smile at him and nod, 

"We were so young back than Harry, so young with all our lives planned out." She would whisper and he'd nod, 

"Yeah I got a blowjob under the stars by a beautiful boy who was higher than a kite. I miss him." And Lucy would shake her head, 

"C'mon Haz, don't do this to yourself now." And he'd nod, he wouldn't. Harry returned himself back to the present, he didn't register that Niall wasn't in any of his thoughts for the future. He looked down at Niall who had Harry's cock in his mouth, Harry didn't know what would happen in the future but he would try to keep this beautiful boy. The one with the eyes and the mouth, god damn the mouth! He'd try to keep him, try.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how this came from Niall kissing Harry to Harry wondering about his future and trying to keep Niall, idk about the shit i write half the time  
> Follow my tumblr?: http://idreaminyou-youre-intoxicating.tumblr.com/


	6. this is what friends do, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry just wants zayn to be okay (a bit of narry) this chapter i very ziam centric

Harry wakes up feeling... light and airy, probably because of the blowjob he recieved last night. He also feels kind of sore because him and Liam were the only ones not drinking or doing drugs so they had to drag all their friends home and Eleanor wouldn't let Louis go, while Louis was eyefucking some guy in the corner. It wasn't very pleasant but Harry wasn't all focused on the pain, more on Niall. Everything about him, from his hair that was basically golden, his eyes that no stupid cliche about the sea could compare to, his smile and goddammit his lips. Harry wasn't new to the aspect of a blowjob, Nathan had French lips and he was great but god Niall. 

Harry rolled to the side of his bed and spotted Zayn, in his boxers, rocking back and forth in the corner. Harry ruffled his eyebrows because really, what the fuck could have happened? Harry swallowed because last time he saw Zayn, he was holding Liam's hand and shotgunning with him while Harry was desperately trying to get them to go home. 

"Zayn?" Harry tried feebly from the bed. Louis was still asleep, Harry could hear his soft breaths since he didn't snore and he didn't know if this was his position. He couldn't comfort people, he always got really weird and twitchy. Zayn looked up, eyes tearstained and he sighed. 

"I just... we had sex okay because I thought he had finally chosen me but then I call him this morning to ask what's up but it's Danielle... his ex-girlfriend, well not anymore apparently." Zayn sobbed out softly. He looked a wreck, with his hair disheveled and his eyes sunken in. Harry wondered how long Zayn was awake. Harry cleared his throat softly, 

"I'm uh really sorry Zayn. Are you sure she wasn't just helping him out though?" Harry asked, trying to find some way to get Zayn to stop crying. Zayn shook his head, 

"Liam doesn't drink. He used to have one kidney because the other didn't work and it does now you know but he still never drinks, so he doesn't need taking care of. I'm such a fucking idiot!" Zayn cried tugging on his hair and crying harder, bringing his knees closer to his chest. Harry was still where he was staring at the boy and he sighed, 

"Do you want to do something?" He asked because really what does he do? Zayn sniffled and shook his head, 

"I want to sit here and be miserable and read Edgar Allen Poe." Zayn muttered and Harry sighed, 

"Zayn what good is that going to do? You can't sit here and be miserable." Harry stated and Zayn scoffed, 

"Who said?" Zayn asked and Harry clenched his jaw, 

"I said!" He cried and Zayn snorted, 

"Well fuck you than." Zayn replied angrily and Harry sighed, he wasn't a stubborn one so he wasn't exactly going to put up a fight with Zayn. 

"Can you not do this to yourself?" Harry asked and Zayn shrugged, 

"I'll do what I want." Zayn muttered and Harry clenched his jaw, he was really not in the mood for a grown man acting like a baby. He turned back around so his back was facing Zayn and he immediately felt bad because Zayn was probably feeling horrible and of course Harry sucked at this kind of stuff, what made him guiltier was that his thoughts were already shifting to Niall.

~~ 

Harry ends up calling Liam, well not before he calls Niall for Liam's number. Louis drags Zayn out the door, two hours after he's woken up. He asks Harry to come but Harry really doesn't want to so he watches Louis drag Zayn out the dorm. About ten minutes later he whips out his phone and realizes, oops he doesn't have Liam's number. He goes through his contacs and his fingers land on Niall's name, when did this get in there? Harry wonders why Niall nabbed his phone while he could've just given him the number but he doesn't question it. 

He stares at the number for a long time before he presses the call button, than he hangs up two seconds later and throws the phone on the bed. He stares at it again and than tries again, this time he doesn't chicken out. The phone rings three times before Niall's familiar Irish accent is greeting him. 

"Hi Niall." Harry says weakly, 

"Harry? I'm kind of hungover mate what is it?" Niall asks and he sounds really tired and just out of it and Harry immediately feels bad, 

"If this is a bad time-," Harry starts but he's cut off by Niall, 

"Nahh it's cool what do you need?" Niall asks and Harry still feels kind of bad but he manages to say, 

"Can I have Liam's number?" And he realizes how that probably sounds so he adds quickly, "not for me! Well yeah for me because I'm gonna call him but not... for me." He finishes lamely and Niall chuckles than groans, 

"Don't freak out." And Niall promptly starts to recite Liam's number. Harry wonders if it's safe for Niall to just give people he barely knows his friends numbers but Niall seems like he would willingly get into a car with a serial killer, so fucking carefree. 

"Thanks." Harry mutters and he briefly wonders if Niall remembers last night, 

"No problem... and thinks for bringing me home." Niall says softly at the end and Harry lets out a little whimper because Niall can't do this, he can't be all soft and sweet when all he needs is someone to kiss. Harry wonders if they're friends or something becaue friends with benefits seems farfetched for what they're doing... well what they were doing until Niall's mouth ended up on his dick. 

"Yeah." Harry croaks out and Niall chuckles, 

"Talk to you later, hmm?" Harry makes another little noise, 

"Y-yeah of course." He stutters and that's that conversation. Harry stares at his phone and wonder did that really happen? After getting over the relative shock that yes he did speak to Niall and no he did not puke up his guts, Harry dials Liam's number quickly. He has no idea what he's going to say to Liam, since Liam isn't that much taller than Harry but he is bigger and he could snap Harry's neck in two.

"Ello." Comes Liam's voice and Harry sighs,

"Uhh hi Liam this is Harry... Harry Styles." Harry says and he almost smacks himself because he sounds like he's trying to mimick James Bond or something when he isn't.

"Oh hello Harry, how did you get my number?" Liam asks, not rudely but simply curious so that keeps Harry's nerves relaxed.

"Uhh Niall." Harry says because Harry can't lie even if his life depended on it,

"Of course. Anywho, what's up?" Liam asks and Harry sighs,

"So... Zayn." Harry says and leaves it at that. The line is silent for a bit until Liam says, 

"Are you going to finish that sentence?" And Liam probably doesn't even know how intimidating he sounds to Harry. 

"Uhh yeah I just... he's really sad because... you just need to apologize okay because he thinks you used him Liam and I don't know you and I don't know-" But Harry's cut off by Liam, 

"That's the thing Harry, you don't know. How is this any of your business?" And Harry swallows, there goes all his confidence. 

"I just- I don't want Zayn to get hurt Liam and he's my friend now I guess and that's what friends do right? Look out for each other." Harry says feeling like a thirteen year old girl. 

"I'm Zayn's friend too Harry." Liam says and Harry sighs, 

"But you leave him sad everytime Liam! He looks at you like you're the lion from Narnia, you know how all those people looked at him in that movie? Yeah, that! And he like loves you I think but you're just... mean." Harry finishes and he most definently sounds like a child because he just refrenced Narnia for Christ sakes! 

"I'm not mean... I'm not trying to be at least. It's just... I love Danielle and I love Zayn okay but Danielle's just easier to be with." Liam whispers and Harry huffs, 

"What's wrong with being with Zayn? His poetry isn't that bad!" Harry cries and Liam laughs and Harry realizes he made a joke, a somewhat succesful joke ad he smiles. 

"It's not that it's just... Zayn's the first boy I've been with okay, he's my first everything with a guy and he expects so much! I love him but he wants me to be this perfect illusion that he made up in his mind and he's so fucking fragile! Like god, I'll talk to a girl and he'll look like he's about to jump off a cliff or I'll hug another guy and he won't talk to me for a month! And then Danielle's back and she's just... easy." Liam says and Harry ruffles his eyebrows, 

"Well the good things in life aren't easy Liam! Zayn's fantastic okay and maybe what you said about him is true, I don't even know but you can't just expect him to do what you want him to do! He isn't your puppet and maybe you don't deserve him, maybe you deserve just that someone... easy." Harry says and he's huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

"Harry... I don't know." Liam says softly and Harry groans,

"Well you better figure it the fuck out!" And he hangs up. Harry stands there for a long time before he realizes what he just did and he's proud of himself, so fucking proud but scared because if Liam doesn't come after him Zayn probably will.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading guys!! BAMF Harry is a yes but i gotta stick to his usual unsureness in the next chappie :)


	7. you can come over anytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn's angry and Harry decides to take a trip to Niall's apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really short

“What did you do?” Zayn cried when he walked into the dorm with Louis trailing behind and staring at Harry with a slightly amused look on his face. Harry gulped and rose from the bed he was lying down on and closed his IPod.

“Uh hi Zayn… how was… things?” Harry asks unsure of himself and Zayn just shakes his head,

“You yelled at Liam!” Zayn cried looking like he had just snorted a pound of cocaine because honestly he looked deranged! Harry swallows and rubs the back of his neck and he looks at Louis for help but Louis is just staring at him to.

“I was just- for you.” Harry finishes lamely looking down at his converse and Zayn huffs,

“He thinks I made you call him.” Zayn states and Harry is still looking down at his feet. Of course, he’s such an idiot, that’s why he doesn’t have friends! When he thinks he’s doing something good it all blows up in his face and it’s taking everything in him not to just burst into tears.

“I’m sorry.” Harry whispers and Zayn scoffs,

“I’m sure you are. Harry I didn’t need you to do that! I just- god Harry why would you do that?” Zayn asks and Louis steps up,

“Ahh c’mon Zayn give the boy a break! He yelled at Liam something you haven’t done, he has a backbone.” And Louis is patting Harry on the back reassuringly and Zayn scoffs,

“Fuck that, you should go for a bit Harry.” Zayn says and Harry almost laughs in his face! Zayn is kicking him out of his own dorm? How so fucking stupid, ignorant and really mean! Harry gets that Zayn’s angry but he expected a,

“Thank you Harry for doing stuff I couldn’t do, I owe you one buddy!” But he doesn’t get that and he sighs because he isn’t going to fight Zayn for fucks sakes he probably could beat Harry with his eyes closed.

“Okay.” Harry says and he grabs his phone and his car keys and wordlessly walks out. He has no idea where to go as he walks out of the uni but he hopes that he finds a place, and he really hopes that Zayn doesn’t stay angry with him for long because Harry doesn’t do great with people angry with him.

Harry gets into his car and sits there for a bit, thinking how perfect everything was hours ago. He was so blissed out thinking of the Irish boy who had seemingly taken his heart (and he’s probably exaggerating but this is college he’s allowed to!) And now everything has gone to shit and everything kind of hurts!

Harry sighs and pulls out his phone, his fingers semi consciously going to Niall’s name. Harry stares at it for a bit before he sighs and decides what harm could calling a guy who gave him a blowjob do?

Niall picks up on the second ring,

“Ello!” He calls and it sounds like he’s trying to fake a British accent and Harry is happy that he doesn’t aww out loud because that’s kind of fucking cute if he does say so himself.

“Uh hey Niall, it’s Harry.” Harry says tapping his fingers on his legs,

“Hey Harry! What’s up mate?” Niall asks him, and he’s using a British accent and Harry doesn’t know if he should swoon or laugh. He decides on the latter and before he knows it he has tears in his eyes and he hears Niall chuckle,

“Okay okay maybe my British accent isn’t as great as I thought.” Harry giggles, like honestly giggles and he feels like a proper girl! He swallows,

“Uhm where are you?” He hears Niall hum something,

“At the apartment… alone.” Niall adds as an afterthought and Harry blushes,

“Can I come over?” Niall chuckles huskily,

“Yeah anytime really.” He says and Harry hums, he’s already putting the car into ignition.

“Yeah okay… I’ll keep that in mind?” He voices it as a question and Niall chuckles,

“Yeah you do that.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked, comment maybe?


End file.
